Showing posts with label audience participation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label audience participation. Show all posts

Sunday, November 8, 2009

64 Too Many


Back when I considered myself really political (that is, about six years ago), I added myself to a bunch of political email listservs. Though I've gradually dropped off of most of the mailing lists in hopes of conserving inbox space and because of my increasing disenchantment with the political process (I never quite got over Kerry's loss in 2004. No lie.), I still receive emails from MoveOn.org and the Barack Obama campaign (the latter the outcome of my brief phone banking stint in October 2008.)

In general, my attitude towards the daily dispensations of these political listservs wavers between vague tolerance and serious anger, the latter emotion usually occurring when I am expecting some sort of employment or school-related email and get a request to donate 25 dollars to help run an ad in some Midwestern state. However, my tolerance for the emails has increased as of late, thanks to the ever-growing hullabaloo surrounding the public option.

I lack the time, energy, and faith in my ability to argue for the public option strongly in this post, so I will brief on my reasons supporting this policy. As the child of a physician who frequently hears stories of people putting off yearly physicals until they have a terminal condition, I support a health plan that emphasizes preventive care. After seeing my elementary school students come in day after day with untreated burns, bumps and skin conditions and struggle to focus because their parents couldn't afford eyeglasses, I support affordable, comprehensive health care. And after having to pay out of pocket in a foreign country, I realize just how expensive and scary getting sick can be for the millions of Americans without health insurance.

So when I received a Obama campaign email asking me to call my representative to support a new health care bill in the House with a public option, I thought twice before hitting "Delete" and instead picked up the phone to call Representative Heath Shuler, the former football player-turned-Democratic rep for my district.

I didn't get to talk to Shuler, which I didn't really expect to do anyway, but I did leave a message and did feel pretty good about myself. While one dinky constituent leaving a message in favor of the bill probably wouldn't push my representative to change his opinion, a torrent of support, of which my message would be a small part, might do the trick.

Sadly, I don't know whether that torrent of support materialized, and if it did, why it didn't work. Because while the House's most recent health care bill, which contains a public option, was passed Saturday night, Rep. Shuler voted against it.

Let me say that I am very grateful for those who worked to make the bill a reality, and for Rep. Cao of Louisiana, the one Republican who voted for the bill. But I remain extremely frustrated with my Representative for not only not voting for this health care bill, but also voting for the Stupak amendment, a bill which prohibits coverage of abortions within a government health care plan. Shuler was one of 64 Democrats to vote for the amendment, and one of 26 to support Stupak's addition while voting against the health care bill itself.

Many are downplaying the amendment's significance, stating that abortions are widely funded in the private market already, and that it maintains the status quo of the Hyde amendment, which prevents federal funding for abortions except in instances of endangerment of the mother. But these arguments ignore the fact that the bill appears to actually expand existing legislation. According to some opponents, it will force women to get a separate insurance rider in order to cover abortion. And of course, poor women will still have to pay out of pocket should they need the procedure.

Whether those who voted for the amendment voted because of their own personal beliefs or to save the public option bill, which Stupak and others were threatening to filibuster, is uncertain. Regardless, however, the passage of the amendment is a disappointment to me and to anyone who believes that everyone deserves to have the access to the same health services, regardless of economic status.

And so, tomorrow, I will be making another call to the office of Representative Heath Shuler. I can't say that it will have the desired effect, but I feel that I can't let my frustration with this turn of events go unheard. Check this list and see if your representative is on it. If you oppose the Stupak amendment, please give him or her a call.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Spam: Delicious (sort of), Nutritious (sort of), and Always Hilarious



Like many, despite the fact that I purchase my penis-enhancement drugs in back alleys* instead of on the internet, I receive a lot of spam to my email account. Many are the garden variety "Nigerian banker" messages, but there are some with particularly amusing titles. Here are some of my favorites, with spelling and grammar preserved in all of their mediocre glory.

"Outlast and outhit her" -- playing softball with your new girlfriend? You'll win, don't worry: all women have terrible hand-eye coordination.

"Your chemist wants to know if you areinterested..." -- He's discovered the philosopher's stone. It's 10 inches long and will keep you forever young.

"Watch her creamy jugs bounce" -- I assume this would link me to www.sexxxymilkmaids.com or something similar.

"So hard it's like a rock" -- They must be trying to sell me a Chevy truck. (Remember those commercials?)

"She scream in pain and pleasure" -- I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream! Ow, ow ow, brain freeze!

"Stop being a loser" -- could have used this in middle school, I suppose.

"Raid her vault tonight" -- no. just... no. Dear Mr. Spambot: you ain't comin' anywhere near my vault tonight, tomorrow night or any other night, for that matter. Even if it means I have to put guard dogs up around the perimeter.

"Who doesn't love a big gun in the pants?" -- who doesn't love an accidental shot in the leg? Oooh, ooh, ooh! Me!

"High-quality copies of swell watches!" -- well, golly gee whiz! Looks like Alfalfa and the rest of the gang from Little Rascals learned how to use the internet! And they're creating their own Ponzi scheme too! Ha ha ha, they're so cute!

"Obama show McCain what a real debate should be" -- wow, that sounds kind of hot, actually. I mean, what?

"Lead your boner to leadership" -- There are no words. I really couldn't make this one any funnier if I tried.

There have been a recent slew of messages that seem to be from people I've abandoned. "I've missed you." "Lost my number?)" "I don't know where are you!" "When will we meet again?" "It's cold outside." Not my problem, dude. For future reference, if I have abandoned you, email is not the best way to contact me, especially if you're about to freeze to death. I don't have an iPhone, and in spite of how it may seem, don't spend all of my time in front of my computer.

Which reminds me... there are also a series of messages that may or may not refer to iPhones and how badly women love them:

"Real men, real tools"
"She's so desperate for me now"
"When she saw it, her face lit up"
"Watch her get instantly geeked" -- really, I don't know what else this could refer to. Is this something in Urban Dictionary I should know about?

While it's true that women really go for "electronic devices" of a certain size or shape, guys, it's important to remember that it's not the size of your iPhone, but rather, how you use it that will ultimately make your woman happy. For example, you could use it to look up a new romantic restaurant or a jewelry store nearby. Chicks love that crap.

What about you all? Any favorite spam messages from the peanut gallery?