Teenagers Like to Touch Each Other, Study Shows

An increasing number of American teenagers enjoy physical contact with their peers, a study released yesterday indicates.

Americans between the ages of 12 and 20 enjoy behaviors such as "high-fiving, hugging, kissing, necking, snogging, slapping each other upside the head, playing 'Miss Mary Mack,' tickling each other and French braiding each other's hair," said Dr. Aaron Schmitt, a behavioral psychologist at Avondale University, in a press release Tuesday.

According to Dr. Schmitt, teenagers use physical contact as a way to receive affirmation, bond with friends and acquaintances, and as a prelude to "getting jiggy with it."

When pressed as to how they feel about physical contact, local teenagers responded enthusiastically.

"OMG, I love touching!" said Eliza Ho, 15. "I just, like, totally, like, LOOOOVE hugging my friends hello! They are my best friends ever!!!!!" [Ed. note: Miss Ho requested our paper use at least five exclamation points to convey her love for her friends."

"Touching? It's great!" said Danny Schneider, a 14-year-old freshman at nearby Lakeview High. "I love giving girls hugs. Once this girl I like gave me a hug because I helped her cheat on the math test, and I felt her bra strap!"

Despite the inherent pleasure teenagers seem to derive from it, physical contact comes with its own set of rules, however.

"If you're hugging another guy, you've gotta make sure your crotch isn't anywhere near anyone else's," said Schneider.

"It's even better if you both shout 'NOT GAY! NOT GAY!' while patting each other on the back really hard," added his friend, Michael "No Homo" Ross, also 14.

Like their male counterparts, teenage girls also abide by a strict code when engaging in physical contact.

"There was this one girl who, like, totally offended me by wearing the same earrings as me AND liking the same guy," said Ho. "So when I found out about those things, the next time I saw her, I gave her a half-hearted side hug. THAT sure showed her!"

The code also governs male-female contact, though it has varying degrees of success.

"There was this guy who was totally into me, but I didn't like him in THAT way, so I hugged him for two seconds instead of three, but I don't think he got it," said Ho.

Was his name Danny, by any chance?

"How did you know?"

Some things never change.

Original Article: For Teenagers, Hello Means "How about a Hug?"
Further Reading: Is Hugging Bad for Teens?, New York Times Baffled by Teens Hugging