Apologies for the lack of posting-- I've been working on several posts, but by the time each post is close to done, it's no longer relevant. I do have one about the anniversary of the Tienamen Square massacre that I may post anyway even though that was, oh, last week. Stay tuned for thoughtful if belated commentary!
Today I turn to a less somber subject but one no less near and dear to my heart: spam. As I noted here, I get a kick out of reading the Spam Quarantine digest Brown's email service provides as a way to protect lonely undergrads desperate to enlarge their penises from internet scams. Today's digest brought a few more excellent entries:
"Sensation! Hollywood virgins' list!" This email just goes to show you the delightful ambiguity a grammar error can add to one's writing. Not only are there virgins in Hollywood (audible gasp!) but they have a list! Whatever could be on it?! Names of people not to have sex with? I also like the thought that the crazed sex fiends this email is clearly supposed to be targeting would want to know about those stars who are keeping their legs superglued together until marriage.
"Shock! NYers crapped pants" Oh wow, the contents of this email surprised those jaded New Yorkers?? I have to read it! What could it possibly be? Affordable housing prices?
"Hello, wise guy!" Now don't get cheeky with me, Mr. Spambot. Just because I'm Italian and I've got mafia connections doesn't mean you have any right to call me that. I know what's up.
In my previous post (see link above) I discussed the "message from a friend" genre of spam, where the headline of the email, despite being from Kwame_Nigeri666@internet-scam.com, is supposed to convince the reader that a friend is either angry at them or trapped outside in the snow. I am pleased to announce that my "message from a friend" emails are no longer from a friend who is angry that I locked them out in a Minnesota winter with only a laptop, but are now from friends who are angry that I shirked my part of a project. I'm no longer only a passive-aggressive backstabber-- I'm an intellectual passive-agressive backstabber. Moving up in the world!
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