It is Written

I'm going to join the thunderous chorus of approval ricocheting around the world for Slumdog Millionaire, which has thankfully been echoed by the Golden Globe voters. Drop everything and see this beautifully filmed and expertly crafted Dickensian tale-- I've never seen a crowd more riveted in the movie theatre than when I went to see the film on Saturday night.

The cast is phenomenal, especially the young children. The movie has received some criticism for what some consider to be a cavalier portrayal of poverty in India, but I thought the actors displayed an acute sensitivity towards a difficult subject. Dev Patel's flickering-eyed Jamal effectively captures the lingering effects of his character's childhood trauma. Watching him sweat as each question brings back intense and sometimes violent memories, you wonder just what goes on in the heads of other game show contestants you see while flipping channels idly.


Also, I am so excited for Waltz with Bashir- an animated documentary about one man's attempt to remember his experiences during the 1982 Lebanon war. The preview that ran before the film was breathtaking, and from what I've read, it sounds like the film takes a multifaceted approach to what is a very difficult and controversial subject.

I could say that I prefer Oscar season to the summer movie season because the films are artistically superior and more interesting and whatnot, and that would be true. But the other reason I love shelling out 10 bucks nearly every weekend from January to March is that the subjects of the films tend to be difficult, dark, and depressing. I inherently prefer 'depressing' to 'action' or 'fluff' because (a) I am a masochist, and (b) I am the originator of the greatest fake concentration ever, Depressing Studies.

Nutcase Spotlight: Cal Thomas

I've not been doing so well at this whole "posting on my blog" thing, and I apologize for that. It's mostly because my time has been taken up by other writing and editing endeavors at the newspaper I'm interning at over break (more to come on that).

Today, I'd like to share one of my most favorite nutcases of all time with you: Cal Thomas.



Cal Thomas is a syndicated columnist, the bent of whose opinion can be most kindly described as "far-right-wing." He speaks for the disenfranchised righteous conservatives of America. He used to have a fantastic moustache, which he shaved in 2006.

It takes a certain type of man to wear a caterpillar on his upper lip, and that man is the #1 syndicated columnist in America. But even that's not enough to pull off that shirt and tie combination. Sorry, Cal.

But enough fashion commentary from me, Goddess of the Mismatched Socks. There is much more to love to hate about Mr. Thomas than his sartorial choices.

Cal has two pet issues. The first is the plight of the religious right in America, which makes sense, considering he was the president of the Moral Majority from 1980 to 1985. Apparently, the religious right is on its way out... unless its members make drastic changes. Do something, concerned citizen, before it's too late!

Cal's other issue is Israel. He is the platonic ideal of the extremist, non-Jewish, pro-Israeli right-winger who has co-opted the pro-Israel stance in such a way that he paints anyone who proffers a different stance on how to solve the conflict as anti-Israel and anti-Jewish. I have yet to read a more righteous, dogmatic opinion on the situation in the Middle East from any other source.

Take his recent column, "The Gaza Nazis." Cal asserts that Hamas is, essentially, the new Nazi party, because both groups share a genocidal bent against the Jews, and doesn't go much further than that:

Jews are vermin and less than human, Hamas says. Oh, wait. Wasn't the same said of the Jews by the Nazis? The only difference is that today's killers don't speak German.

Whoa whoa whoa. This is not the place for me to get into my views on the Holocaust or the Middle East or a long treatise on my views on making historical comparisons, but something needs to be said about this. I concede the existence of similarities between Hamas and National Socialism (and also every other group in the history of the world that has tried to wipe out the Jews), but it is downright stupid to argue for a near-identical historical comparison between two groups using one point of ideology. Both the Holocaust and the Gaza issue are too complex to be reduced to such a caricature.

Furthermore, a statement along the lines of:

Is there an Arabic equivalent of "Sieg Heil"?

serves no purpose than to fan the flames of the hatred-fueled fire of the Israel- Palestine issue.

Moving on...Cal is a hard-hitting journalist. He hosts Fox News Watch, a program that's dedicated to ferreting out the liberal media. And lest you think he's naught but another talking head of the vast right-wing conspiracy, check out this recent interview he did with President Bush. Talk about in-depth!

But really, there's more to Cal than I give him credit for. I was reminded of this with his December 31st column, entitled "Make Love, Not War!" My first thought on reading this was that Cal must be going senile, and decided to reconnect with his true hippie self as a New Year's resolution. My second instinct was that he had lost a bet.

But alas, both of my initial instincts were wrong. The article is about a supposed CIA plan to give Taliban warlords Viagra.

The column, which only contains information from anonymous sources, features such pithy remarks as:

Not many would describe consensual sex as torture.

I'd agree with that. Well, unless you lie back and think of Dick Cheney.

And:

Adolf Hitler was 5 feet 8 inches tall. Josef Stalin was short and variously reported to be between 5-4 and 5-6. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is 5-4. Mao Zedong was 5-11, possibly the tallest of the modern despots. We know that Hitler and Mao had sexual hang-ups. Could all dictators share the same problem? Would Viagra, or something similar, have lessened the possibility of forced famines, war, the Holocaust and other mass killings? Were these caused at least in part by pent-up feelings of sexual inadequacy?

Cal, you've rendered me speechless.

And that, dear friends, is why I keep reading Cal Thomas, mustache or no.

The President-Elect Walks into a Bar...

"We can learn to laugh with politicians, not just at them." Guest Commentary, Asheville Citizen-Times, 7 January 2009.

I had a lot of fun writing this. Pieces like these remind me of why I love writing opinions-- I love the opportunity to use a snappy, critical voice and throw in some wordplay as well. In all sincerity, I think that Obama's "mutts like me" comment may be one of the most important statements on race of our time.

Still need to decide if I'm going to be an opinions columnist again this semester. On one hand, I love getting to choose my topic and be playful with my language, but on the other, I really need the reporting experience. Decisions, decisions.

Resolutions for 2009

I know, I know, I promised this blog wouldn't be personal. I don't think I'm breaking that promise, as they aren't too specific; no "I resolve to hold my temper, even around effin' skanks like that slut Mary Sue who pushed me down the stairs for mackin' on her man" or "I resolve to get that huge mole on my left buttock removed. Even though it's good for predicting the weather, it really detracts from my sex appeal, and I fear it may be cancerous."* Nope, nothing like that, fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your perspective).

So here are my resolutions for the year. I'm posting them in this great public forum we call the internet, because I'm trusting you, my friends, to keep me honest.

- I resolve to write more, and to never stop critiquing and making what I produce better. Ideally, I will write something (other than school assignments) everyday.

- I resolve to exercise more, and maybe even run a 5k or half-marathon. Actually, maybe I'd better start by running a mile without stopping. But the sentiment is there!

- I resolve to practice the French horn more. I literally cannot remember the last time I actually legitimately practiced my instrument, which may explain my

- I resolve to relegate all bouts of self-pity to less than 15 minutes, ideally 10. I also resolve to not allow myself to start another bout immediately after I finish one.

-On a related note, I resolve to reallocate the time I use brooding, stewing or worrying for other pursuits.

- I resolve to be less afraid of the phone, and in general, better at returning calls, emails and letters.

- I resolve to become the editor-in-chief of a major alternative weekly publication, achieve fame and fortune as an internationally-known hand model, and win the lottery. Hey, everyone needs something impossible to strive for.

And with that, I wish you all a happy new year.


*For the record, I don't have a huge mole on my left buttock, or anywhere else on my body. That skank Mary Sue, however, is a different story...

Blogwars Episode Two: Adrienne Strikes Back

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

I decided that the comics in the daily publication at my university weren't funny, and that I, with my mediocre drawing skills and superior sense of humor, would be just the person to change that. A few silly drawings and a Marquez novel later, an idea for a new, funnier comic was budding in my head. That idea was One Hundred Years of Solipsism.

I eagerly set to work, dutifully recording the adventures of three wacky fictional college students, even making a blog to post my work. And then disaster struck. I came to realize that my mediocre drawing skills made the drawing process go veeerrry, veeerrry slowly. Worse, it was really hard to write genuinely funny cartoons! I soon realized that these facts were not conducive to churning out five quality strips a week. Thus, One Hundred Years of Solipsism quietly ended, and its accompanying blog lay fallow for nearly a year and a half.

And now, on the final day of 2008, I'm resurrecting what I laid aside then. One Hundred Years of Solipsism is back-- not as a regular comic, though I may post some of my goofy drawings, and not as a daily record of my life, though I'll undoubtedly post some choice snippets of my day-to-day activities. Posts that are overly personal, boring, or long-winded will not see the light of day. Expect goofy and possibly thought-provoking stories, even goofier (but probably not thought-provoking) drawings, excellent things one may find on the Internet, and links to everything I've ever written. With luck, future posts will be better written than this one.

In the words of the Saturday night partiers I so frequently hear outside my window at school, WOO HOO!

Column. Opinions Column.

"What we can learn from James Bond." Opinions Column, The Brown Daily Herald, 18 November 2008.

This column was, by far, the most enjoyable to write of anything I did this semester. As some may know, I'm an unabashed fan of the James Bond films, and I was looking for a way to exercise my comprehensive knowledge of the series. People seemed to enjoy it, so I don't think it was too masturbatory. This column really made me want to do more arts-based opinion writing-- I think art is something that really needs to be more common in American editorial pages.

One life lesson -- about relationships-- didn't make it into the final piece. While it would have been nice to include something that at least attempted to talk about James Bond's portrayal of women and relationships, it didn't ring true, and I was out of space anyway. I suppose that could be a whole other thing in itself...

Y'all Come Back Now and Read My Column Again, Ya Hear?

"The unbearable stigma of being 'Dixie.'" Opinions Column, The Brown Daily Herald, 7 November 2008.

Other potential titles for this column included "The unbearable lightness of whistling 'Dixie,'" "The unbearable stigma of whistling 'Dixie,'" "The unbearable lightness of being 'Dixie,'" and "The unbearable lightness of OH MY GOD I am so so sorry, Milan Kundera."

Though I was somewhat nervous about the whiny tone of my argument, so I was floored when I received an overwhelmingly positive response to this column. People were literally stopping me on the street and sending me emails and Facebook messages to thank me for writing about being a Southerner at Brown. It just goes to show that you never know how writing will be received. And that's the durn truth, y'all.